Welcome back, me.
I know it has been awhile since I was here last, the truth is I really hadn't had any inspiration to write. Life got in the way. The struggle to survive (if you call being 26  and still living with your mom and dad surviving) has taken its toll on me. I have come to the realization that the two year anniversary of the loss of my maternal grandmother is coming up. It's only been two years. It feels longer than that. It's like time has completely slowed down, but life goes on. It has to, other wise we wouldn't be doing what we are doing now. It's always been that way. the world has to keep going. We would drive ourselves crazy otherwise. We lose our loved ones, we lose our friends, we lose a lot of people. It feel like the whole world is falling apart, but it won't. Not as long as we have hope. Hope is a very powerful thing, it gives us strength. The strength to pull ourselves up, the strength to put one foot in front of the other, and the strength to move forward. It's who we are, it's who we've always been. Hope is that promise that we will see those loved ones again one day on the other side. It's a nice thing to have.

On a side note, I think I'll do my best to come back here everyday a give a piece of my mind here. It might make me feel better, or anyone else. I might make myself laugh, I might make myself cry, or anything in between. Wish me luck. 

Get a Real Job, Numbnuts A Christopher Titus DVD review
Article first published as DVD Review - Christopher Titus- Get a Real Job, Numbnuts on Blogcritics.

This is a review I wrote for blog critics.org Please read and comment. I need the support.


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family at Christmas Time.
Most people nowadays forget what the holiday season is about. It's a time to celebrate. Friends, family. we just get swept up in all of the chaos that we end up not seeing what's in front of us, until it's gone. This had been a crappy year for my family. We lost three loved ones within the course of the last twelve months, give or take. This is first Christmas that we're celebrating without my nana. What makes it worse is that her birthday is the day after. I remember every year she would always give us a pair of slippers that she had krocheted herself. I still have the last pair she gave me. People take for granted the people they have in their lives and I wish that they understood there is more to Christmas than who gives the biggest gift. I have come to a point on my life where I really don't care if I get a gift or not. I mean it's nice that I get one or two, but I've outgrown it. I would rather just be there with my family. Share some laughs, some love, and food. Nothing says family and Christmas like food, that is the most important thing. So to all who have lost their loved ones and are celebrating this Christmas for the first time without them this year. I know it'll be hard, trust me I know, but it'll get better. With time, you  will always remember them and you will carry that with you. As for everyone else, don;t take your loved one for granted. Just spend every moment you can with them and enjoy it. Merry Christmas.  

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Week before Christmas
T'was the week before Christmas and what do I find
As I sit in my car, in the parking lot line
At the mall as I wait for an open park space,
My frustration is growing each moment with hate.

Almost an hour has past as I drive ‘round said line
I slowly feel like I’m losing my mind
“I just want to go” I say to myself
As I drive past the couple with the “elf on a shelf”

What a fun little trick to keep the kiddies in line
To make them behave around Christmas time
And as my thought wanders and with wonder I say
What about something that works every day?

The holidays now are just commercial and toys,
What happened to faith? What happened to joys?
This wasn’t what it used to be,
waiting to buy the next big thing.

 All this I thought as I was still parked in that line
As I wait for people who don’t know how to drive
In the rain and the crowds my patience is thin
I just want to go home, I can never win.

All I wanted was to go to the store,
To pick up cleaning supplies, that’s it nothing more.
And as I finally find that opening in sight
I make my escape and catch the green light.

I look in the mirror as mall slowly fades
Never again during the holidays,
Will I go to the mall, for the practical things
I’ll try someplace else, away from the bling

The toys, the clothes and electronics galore
As I think that there’s always another store.
Now the mall is no longer in sight
I step on the gas and my smile is bright.

I made my escape as I see other cars
Going in the direction that cause my emotional scars
From that experience I don’t want to relive
Because of my patience that was about to give    

As I continue to drive all the way down the street
As I listen to the radio, a song with a beat.
I take a deep breath while driving along
Thinking back to chaos and singing my song

“What was I thinking?” I say out loud
Going down that way, with the madness of the crowd
I now park my car in front of my place
I open my door, jump out and limp with haste

To my front door as I head inside
To the place that I have preside
With my mom on the couch, who plays with the dog
She looks up at me says, “What took you so long?”

“You don’t want to know” is my only response
As I head to my room and lay on my bed
I close my eyes and try to of think instead.
Christmas is coming, only a week away

Time for cheer and toys once someone did say
And thing that’s missing that I’ll never get back.
Because she is gone
and that’s an unfortunate fact.

We try to move on and say ‘she’s in a better place’
And the first Christmas is the hardest, even with grace
Because we’ll be thinking of her this time every year
And it will always bring us to tears

And all I can say is as the day’s ending is near
“Nana, I miss you. I wish you were here.
Christmas will never, ever be the same”
No matter what they say, or what they can claim.

So to those who have forgot what this time is about
Go home, see your family and try not to pout.
Because you never know what time you have left
So celebrate now and don’t ever forget

That family is what all this is for   
And say Merry Christmas and hope for many more
And pray for the souls that are no longer here
Knowing that that they’ll watch over us all day and all year

And as you read this, you know I am right
So say merry Christmas, Thank you, and goodnight.

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